Today, let’s dig deep into the linguistic trenches and excavate what I argue to be the most destructive three-word phrase in the English lexicon.
No, it’s not something as overtly damaging as “I hate you.”
Rather, these words slink through conversations daily, seemingly harmless on the surface yet detrimental to one’s potential.
The notorious phrase?
“I Would, But…”
These three words are not just a sentence filler; they’re a dream killer.
A mentor of mine once said, “Everything before ‘but’ is a lie.”
Translated: “I would, but…” is coded language for “I won’t.”
Why These Words are Dangerous
What makes this phrase particularly insidious is its frequent attachment to something of significance—goals we deeply desire to achieve, be it launching a business, moving abroad, acquiring a new skill, or writing that elusive novel.
The phrase acts as a roadblock, placing us in a state of inertia.
Instead of investigating ways to make our dreams happen, we concentrate on the barriers.
“I would, but…” is not the lexicon of a dreamer or a doer; it’s the verbal embodiment of your inner critic, an expression of your brain’s overprotective tendencies.
But remember: a risk-free life is no life at all.
The one thing standing between you and your dreams is often just that—a thing, a mental construct you’ve erected.
This is where the word ‘yet’ becomes invaluable.
Adding ‘yet’ to limiting statements transforms them into avenues for growth: “I can’t, yet” morphs into a promise of future achievement.
A Personal Journey
Take me, for instance.
As an INFJ according to the Myers-Briggs test, I am naturally introverted, introspective, and a tad reticent about public speaking.
Add to that the fact that I’m legally blind and I had a thousand ‘valid’ excuses to avoid it.
But I learned that the fears holding me back were illusions, remnants of my internal saboteur.
I had to override the “I would, buts” with action, for the sake of personal growth.
And so, I joined a speakers’ club. I got coaching. I entered speaking competitions…and even took home a first-place trophy for a talk on this very topic.
Today, I urge you to discard “I would, but” from your vocabulary.
Replace it with “I haven’t, yet…but I will.”
Because you can, and you will.
CherryEdits 