What are your best misheard lyrics? Mondegreens and me.

🎵 Silent night, holy night. All is calm, all is bright / Round John Virgin, mother and child.🎵

🤣 Who’s John Virgin? Is he rotund? Is he somehow linked to the Immaculate Conception?

Or else he sounds like a snooker player. No, wait, that was John Virgo.

Ladies and gentleman, I present to you a mondegreen. A mishearing. A misinterpretation of a lyric. True story – this is what I used to sing while carolling in the village in the 1980s.

👶 Of course, it should have been: “Silent night, holy night. / All is calm, all is bright / ‘Round yon virgin Mother and Child.”

🍻 Another one that makes even less sense is what I thought New Order were singing about in ‘Regret’.

🎵 I want some Special Brew / Almost all the time. 🎵

Yup, I was singing about that rather strong brand of beer beloved of, well, people who like strong beer!

“I was upset you see / Almost all the time.” Ah, I see!

The best mondegreen came from a round of Never Mind the Buzzcocks:

🎵 Out on the wild and windy moor / Sweet Roland fell in Brie. / You had distemper, like my jealous eel / Too hot, too greasy. 🎵 (Kate Bush, Wuthering Heights) 😂

And, well, then there’s Madonna’s song about Bill Oddy 😅

⬇ Entertain me with your best misheard lyrics!